(pas pu m’empêcher d’en mettre une coupe…)
Buffy: La vache… doit me… touche… de la… jeudi. Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?
Willow: No. But you said, “The cow should touch me from Thursday.”
Buffy: Maybe that’s what I was feeling.
Willow: And you said it wrong.
Buffy: Oh, je stink.
Biker Vamp: I’ve always wanted to kill the Slayer.
Buffy: And I’ve always wanted piano lessons. So really… who’s surprised we’ve got this unexpressed rage? But honestly, I think I express mine better. Tell you what… you find yourself a good anger management class, and I’ll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.
Buffy: I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.
Xander: Hopes? Oh, no no no no. There are no hopes. Anya and I are done. I love being single. I’m a strong, successful male who’s giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future.
Buffy: Strong, successful males say “giddy”?
Spike: Last night was… God, I’m such a jerk. I can’t do this.
Buffy: Spike…
Spike: It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me you bloody well better use that ’cause I couldn’t bear it. It may not mean that much to you.
Buffy: I just told you it did.
Spike: I know, I hear you say it, but… I’ve lived for sodding ever, Buffy, I’ve done everything. I’ve done things with you I can’t spell, but I’ve never been close. To anyone, least of all you; until last night. All I did was hold you, and watch you sleep, and it was the best night of my life. So I’m yeah. Terrified.
Buffy: [jumps down from window] What are you doing here?
Spike: I…
Buffy: Five words.
Spike: [counts on his fingers] Out… for… a… walk.
Spike: [pause] … bitch!
Anya: We’re just kinda thrown by the, you having sex with Spike.
Buffy: The who whatting how with huh?
Anya: Okay, that’s denial. That comes before anger.
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike.
Anya: Anger.
Xander: No one is judging you. It’s understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled…
Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike, but I’m starting to think you are.
Buffy: The rest of you are just waiting for me.
Xander: Well, yeah, but only because you kinda told us to. You’re our leader, Buffy, as in “follow the”.
Buffy: Well, from now on, I’m your leader as in “do what I say”.
Xander: Ja wohl. But let’s not try to forget, we’re also your friends.
Anya: I’m not.
Buffy: Then why are you here? Aside from getting rescued, what is it that you do?
Anya: I provide much needed… sarcasm.
Xander: Um, that would kinda be my job, actually.
Xander: Being popular isn’t so great. Or so I’ve read in books.
Willow: Faith, wait. I want to talk to you.
Faith: Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. Faith, we’re still your friends. We can help you. It’s not too late.
Willow: It’s way too late. You know, it didn’t have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo. Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you’re nothing. You’re just a big selfish, worthless waste.
Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I’m just a little more efficient.
[punches Willow]
Willow: Aw, here I just thought you didn’t have a come-back.
Willow: So, how did it go?
Xander: On a scale from one to ten? It sucked.
Xander: You’re considered somewhat cool.
Oz: I am?
Xander: Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-commital sentences?
Oz: Could be.
Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.